I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
