you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
