Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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