I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
