I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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