i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
