I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
