i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
