We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
