he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
