Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Randomize
