Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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  (805): In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career http://tfl.nu/rhke
  Replies (18) Good night (4556) Bad night (550)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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  (918): My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it... http://tfl.nu/dlfs
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (4475)
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  (858): View more from California

  she takes plan B like it's going out of style

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  (858): she takes plan B like it's going out of style http://tfl.nu/mrnj
  Replies (27) Good night (860) Bad night (3490)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.

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  (845): I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point. http://tfl.nu/3ngc
  Replies (19) Good night (1181) Bad night (3343)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great

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  (908): Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great http://tfl.nu/tjsf
  Replies (38) Good night (11033) Bad night (1385)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker

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  (920): its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker http://tfl.nu/gudl
  Replies (11) Good night (1661) Bad night (3374)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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  (781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt
  Replies (20) Good night (753) Bad night (6383)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"

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  (601): Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing" http://tfl.nu/jpe9
  Replies (6) Good night (1110) Bad night (3491)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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  (817): She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that. http://tfl.nu/vcnu
  Replies (11) Good night (976) Bad night (3370)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

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  (718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva
  Replies (5) Good night (1725) Bad night (516)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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  (330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9
  Replies (11) Good night (1572) Bad night (460)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think

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  (724): So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think http://tfl.nu/tp1z
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (269)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma

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  (931): I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma http://tfl.nu/5uqx
  Replies (7) Good night (384) Bad night (839)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.

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  (501): You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns. http://tfl.nu/4e6u
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (186)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My penis needs a shock collar

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  (309): My penis needs a shock collar http://tfl.nu/qzdc
  Replies (8) Good night (511) Bad night (254)

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