I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
