Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner

  (1-408): View more from California

  if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends

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  (408): hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner (1-408): if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/qgda
  Replies (29) Good night (4697) Bad night (1053)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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  (607): I've blown a few things in my day http://tfl.nu/5p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2924) Bad night (613)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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  (208): I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing." http://tfl.nu/1ant
  Replies (26) Good night (6424) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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  (850): Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here http://tfl.nu/hhg1
  Replies (16) Good night (5464) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (17442) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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  (319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl
  Replies (13) Good night (3169) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

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  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4493) Bad night (1075)
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  (916): View more from California

  Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...

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  (916): Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers... http://tfl.nu/ayxd
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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  (630): I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/564g
  Replies (14) Good night (1189) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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  (336): Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank? http://tfl.nu/yo0k
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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  (304): I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here... http://tfl.nu/7uov
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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  (931): All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt . http://tfl.nu/vyqq
  Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, I found your gauge.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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  (570): Also, I found your gauge. (570): I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy. http://tfl.nu/i63l
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.

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  (847): I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text. http://tfl.nu/zkwg
  Replies (6) Good night (608) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.

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  (309): I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/hvs3
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (315)

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