Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (480) Bad night (2117)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4642) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco
  Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (3638)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3538) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them. http://tfl.nu/h2fg
  Replies (2) Good night (2653) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices. http://tfl.nu/flw8
  Replies (6) Good night (3189) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania http://tfl.nu/5wck
  Replies (14) Good night (2445) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information. http://tfl.nu/bnu1
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n
  Replies (11) Good night (1553) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1304) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
  Replies (5) Good night (615) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  But what if it got lost?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in. (1-770): But what if it got lost? (770): its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it. http://tfl.nu/ord5
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to? http://tfl.nu/ka6a
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter. http://tfl.nu/7j29
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (106)

Randomize