we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish