You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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