After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she smelled like a LAN party
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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