He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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