my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
