once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
