Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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