i just made my gag reflex go away.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh god it's open bar.
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