This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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