you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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