So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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