Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
