well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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