call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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