Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
