I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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