I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
