Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
