I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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