Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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