I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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