I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
