I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
