I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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