I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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