I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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