dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
