I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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