woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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