He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
