I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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