I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
