I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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