PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
