I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize