Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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