SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
