Where is the hickey?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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