Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
