3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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