Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
