I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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