Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
