You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
