I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just invented taco cereal.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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