I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
