I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
