I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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