i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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