like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
