When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
